Sketch – Cherry Tree
GEORGE on stage wiping his brow after a hard workout. MARTHA enters
MARTHA
What have you done Georgie?
GEORGE
I can not tell a lie, Martha. I chopped down
the cherry tree.
MARTHA
Why’d you do that?
GEORGE
I did it for you.
MARTHA
You could have just picked some flowers.
GEORGE
I wanted to do something bold to show
my love for you.
MARTHA
Aren’t you going to get in trouble?
GEORGE
No, I’ll just tell my dad the truth and
he’ll understand.
MARTHA
You’re father is so great. I wish I had
a dad like that.
GEORGE
Maybe someday he will be your
father-in-law.
MARTHA
Are you asking me to marry you, Georgie?
GEORGE
Maybe.
MARTHA
You are going to have to do a lot to
convince me.
GEORGE
I’ll do anything. You name it.
MARTHA
Will you buy me candy everyday?
GEORGE
If that is what you want,
I’ll get gobs of candy. So much candy
that it rots our teeth out,
and we have to get wooden dentures.
MARTHA
That’s so sweet but what else
would you do for me?
GEORGE
Anything my dear anything.
MARTHA
Will you fight in great battles for me?
GEORGE
I’ll battle the greatest armies and
win the day just for you.
MARTHA
Will you become king for me?
GEORGE
You know that’s impossible.
You have to be born into that.
MARTHA
So I guess you won’t do anything.
GEORGE
If that is what you want I’ll
declare independence from
the British Crown, start my
own country, and I’ll be the
new leader.
MARTHA
You’d do that for me?
GEORGE
Of course I would. That and a
whole lot more.
MARTHA
Oh Georgie you’re the greatest.
GEORGE
So will you marry me?
MARTHA
I don’t know. I’ve got to weigh my options.
GEORGE
What do you mean options?
Has someone else proposed to you?
MARTHA
Yeah, little Benny Franklin asked
me to marry him earlier today.
GEORGE
You can’t seriously be considering that.
MARTHA
Well he did ask first. You know
the early bird gets the worm and all.
GEORGE
That’s crap. He’s just a fat little
know-it-all. You deserve better than that.
MARTHA
He does have a lot of money.
Always saving his pennies.
GEORGE
I’m going to kick that little
weasel’s ass. He knew I
liked you. He’s just doing this
to piss me off.
MARTHA
Calm down Georgie.
No need to get violent.
GEORGE
I’ll show you violent. I am going to
beat that four-eyed freak into the ground.
MARTHA
I can’t believe you are being
like this. You’re such an ass.
I’m going to see Benny.
You’re a monster.
MARTHA rushes off.
GEORGE
Fine. If you want to be with that loser,
then I didn’t want to be with you anyway.
DAD enters.
DAD
Hey George what’s with all the yelling?
GEORGE
You won’t believe it Dad.
Little Benny from down the street
just came over here and chopped
down your favorite cherry tree.
BLACKOUT.